I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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