I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
