I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
