Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
and she was petting her beer can
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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