I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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