Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize