Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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