theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
