I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
