who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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