Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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