Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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