How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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