I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
