dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
