absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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