At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
