I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
