woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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