she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
