he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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