Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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