There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
