I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
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