Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
