Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
