i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
