she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
