I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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