She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
