Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
