we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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