Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
