I've blown a few things in my day
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
