He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
