Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
