We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
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So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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