i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
