Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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