I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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