just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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