I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
