I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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