u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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