I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
sex in a hospital.. check
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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