So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize