I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
