What did we do last night that was yellow?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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