The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
