Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Found your dick twin last night
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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