i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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