Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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