i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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