Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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