so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
