Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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