So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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