If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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