I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
then he tried to convert me to islam
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
