Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
