So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
