did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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