Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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