my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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