I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
