So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Watching her eat just hurts me
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
