I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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