this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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