Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
