who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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