I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
