Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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