So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
